Tyler: “Mom, take a picture of the Bean with my hat on!”
Me: “That’s OK. I’ve already taken that picture a thousand times.”
Tyler (indignantly): “You already TOOK that picture. TAKEN is not a word.”
Me: “Do you have any idea who you’re messing with? ‘Have taken’ is the past participle of ‘take.’ I don’t need you to correct my grammar!”
Tyler (shrugging): “Well, I already cracked it.”
No one can say I haven’t had this coming.
Sometimes our children tell us early on who they are destined to become. Kids who take their toys apart and put them back together again are quite possibly our future engineers. Those who take care of wounded cats’ prey and other ailing wildlife may wind up nurses. Our kids who create elaborate buildings out of Legos just might become our next generation of architects.
Today I rounded the corner of our living room and found Eva, stripped down to nothing, clothes strewn all over the room, wildly spinning to the theme of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.”
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I love to dance naked!” she shrieked, now jumping so ecstatically she nearly knocked over the coffee table.
And with that, her membership at the local chapter of the Future Doctors of America, class of 2034, comes to a grinding halt.
Today I walked into the bathroom and found Eva sitting on the toilet, legs swinging, peering through a roll of toilet paper.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m looking through my telescope,” she said, gazing intently.
“Did you see anything exciting?”
“Nope,” she replied, “just a hole in my underpants!”
Really, is there anything in the entire freaking universe that’s better than kids?
Eva: “Mama! I want an M&M cookie!”
Me: “No, Eva. You didn’t eat all your chicken. You have to put the good guys in your belly before the bad guys. Otherwise, no one will be there to fight the bad guys off.”
Eva: “But I don’t like the good guys!”
Me: “Why not?”
Eva: “I don’t have time for the good guys. They’re not tasty. I only like the bad guys!”
And so it begins…