Here was the scene–

Today I walked into the bathroom and found Eva sitting on the toilet, legs swinging, peering through a roll of toilet paper.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m looking through my telescope,” she said, gazing intently.

“Did you see anything exciting?”

“Nope,” she replied, “just a hole in my underpants!”

Really, is there anything in the entire freaking universe that’s better than kids?