August 30, 2010

Someone explain the concept of twittering to me once and for all. From what I understand, it’s notifying your friends whenever you change your location. So potentially, I could twitter you every time I moved into a different room in the house. Then two things would happen:  A, you’d find out how boring I am and B, you’d all know exactly where to find me. Do I really want either of these things to happen?

August 31, 2010

Still not completely sold on the twittering thing. Just to get the feel of it, I’ve decided to spend the day “twittering” you my thoughts and impressions with every change in scenery. A twittering dress rehearsal, if you will.  I will add them below this post throughout the day. Click “like” to stay tuned!

Mpetrovits73: Am currently in the living room watching “Dora.”  Wondering if her mother gets pissed that she won’t change her orange shorts, pink shirt and yellow socks.

MPetrovits73: In the kitchen watching my kids watch their eggs. Wondering if they’re old enough to guilt them into eating by talking about Ethiopia.

MPetrovits73:  Ripped pants while unloading kids from car. Swore in front of them for full 30 seconds like a truck driver on steroids.  Felt fantastic.

MPetrovits73: Just noticed the bathroom sink is smeared with poop. Really hoping it was Tyler. Smells like Beach’s locker at Vogel School.

MPetrovits73: Just returned from the allergist. Realized it’s my only social appointment for the week. The verdict? Eva has no allergies, and I have no social life.

MPetrovits73: In the dog room/diaper changing station/ computer room/ storage room. Fantasizing about what it would be like to have a dining room again.

MPetrovits73: Spent afternoon tending to slide-induced 3rd-degree burns on kids’ butts.  Would’ve twittered directly from back yard, but no clue how to locate cell phone, no less twitter on it.

MPetrovits73: breaking an entry in Doug’s man cave.  Wondering why it’s the only clean room in the house.

MPetrovits73: Just emerged from the toy room. Thinking if I don’t soon find a way to organize all these parts and pieces I’ll end up losing a kid.

MPetrovits73: Just completed final round of bedtime stories. Wishing Dr. Seuss didn’t have so much to say. Wondering if the kids would notice if I edited his books with a pair of scissors. Dr. Seuss would’ve sucked at twittering. Come to think of it, so do I.

Thus concludes my final tweet. As much as I enjoyed my twittering experience, I’m not the 140-characters-or-less kind of tweeter. And so, I have twittered/ tweeted/ twat for the last time. ‘Night, twits!

I used to have a sound machine that played cricket choirs, ocean waves and waterfalls. Now that I have kids, I’d like one with three of the world’s most soothing sounds: a BOOM followed by hysterical screaming (meaning the kid’s still alive); simultaneous snoring from all three bedrooms; and SPLAT, meaning the spit-up missed the shoulder and hit the floor. You all can keep your oceans, waterfalls and crickets.

It has been a month of many milestones for Anna, who has discovered (and sampled) all her fingers and toes, can grasp onto her toys, and successfully rolls from back to belly.  Now, if she could only get the belly-to-back thing down, we’d all be getting a lot more sleep around here.

Two teething babies at once! I tell them their reward is a mouthful of pearly white teeth, knowing in the next decade I’ll be yanking them all out. After that, it’s braces, cavities and root canals. Soon enough they’ll be crying into their pudding with four impacted wisdom teeth. Eventually they’ll grow old, when they can finally spit out each tooth one by one.

Hang in there, girls…the pain is temporary!