Today I misplaced a child for ten minutes, or so it seemed.  When I finally located him, he was crouched in a closet with nothing on but his underwear.

“Tyler, didn’t you hear me calling you?” I demanded. “What are you doing in here?”

“I forgot these underpants glew in the dark,” he answered, eyes full of wonder.  “I want to wear this exact same pair every day!”

There’s few things I know in this world, but there’s one thing I know for certain: when that underwear finally comes off, it’ll be Doug’s turn to do the laundry.

Tyler:  “Mom, take a picture of the Bean with my hat on!”

Me:  “That’s OK.  I’ve already taken that picture a thousand times.”

Tyler (indignantly):  “You already TOOK that picture.  TAKEN is not a word.”

Me:  “Do you have any idea who you’re messing with?  ‘Have taken’ is the past participle of ‘take.’  I don’t need you to correct my grammar!”

Tyler (shrugging):  “Well, I already cracked it.”

No one can say I haven’t had this coming.