I like to open my fourth-grade classes with a riddle. Today as I gathered them for the next school year, one of them had me stumped. So I posed it to Doug.
“If you’re swimming in the ocean and you get attacked by an alligator, what should you do?”
I’ll give you a second for your response, although I didn’t need to wait that long for Doug’s.
“I’d say, ‘Hey! What the f*ck are you doing here?’”
So much did I enjoy his Joe Pesciesque response that it’s worth fessing up. I can’t solve fourth-grade riddles.