No one who knows anything about Doug would be surprised to learn that with the recent turn of events, he’s in his element. Today he patted his hip and announced, “I’m going to get gas. I’ve got my piece, just in case.”
“Easy, Starsky,” I replied. “Do you really think you’re going to need that?”
“You never know when mayhem is going to unfold,” he cautioned. “Do we need anything else? I’m going to get more batteries.”
“We have enough batteries to open a small power plant,” I argued. “Why would we need more?”
“You know what your problem is? You were raised by libs,” he explained. “When we really reach code red, the libs won’t have a clue how to survive. They’re all gonna sh*t in their hats and wear it!”
I suppose what that would mean, essentially, is that the liberals are about to stumble upon a brilliant new method of conserving toilet paper.
And with that, the fate of the November election has been sealed.