I am determined that no child of mine will be the only kid in the shallow end during middle school swim class at the neighboring YMCA, lonely, shivering and clinging to a kickboard, while his peers are performing armstand back double somersault pikes off the diving board. I imagine this experience would be mortifying. Possibly even life scarring.
…receiving all of Tyler’s belongings at the completion of his preschool program, only to discover I’d been sending him to school with a “Corona Light” beach towel.
My one consolation? He was, no doubt, the coolest kid at the water table all summer.
…invite your liberal Democrat parents and conservative Republican in-laws. Put them around a birthday cake together and watch how quickly a Dora/ Diego theme is replaced by politics and religion. So much hot air in the room, no one had to blow out the candles!
#10: I watched all 5 parts.
#9: Anthrax’s Scott Ian extolling the musical genius of Hall & Oates.
#8: Hall & Oates was in the top 100.
#7: Ozzy, slowly starting to make sense.
#6: Alice Cooper, b. 1948, still applying black eyeliner.
#5: Notorious B-I-G, two slots ahead of the Doors.
#4: Iggy Pop, still baring his chest after all these years.
#3: Number of hits for Lisa Loeb: 1. Number of times she was allowed to comment: 53.
#2: After three decades of decadence, Crue—nowhere in sight.
And the #1 most disturbing thing about VH1’s “Top 100 Artists of All Time”
…Hanson, now leather-clad with mustaches and goatees. MMM Bop!