Today some attorney even more intimidating than the guy in those Mark E. Salomone & Morelli commercials shook his fist at the TV camera and declared, “I sue distracted drivers!”
My first thought: finally, someone who will do what it takes to get these jackasses off the road!
My second thought: oh, crap.
Today Doug reamed at two neighborhood boys for building a fort in our drainage pipe, leaving behind a trail of juice boxes and old newspapers. Exactly how long have I been married to the “Get Out of My Drainage Pipe” guy? Trick-or-treaters, enter our lawn at your own risk…
Nothing makes a woman feel more desirable than running her kid’s bike past a construction crew, wind blowing through her hair Baywatch style, and leaving them staring in her wake—not because they want her number, but because she runs funny.
Oh, Sharon, Julie, Sara, Holly, Leah, Marissa. Do we need another version of “The View”? Ladies, let’s end this, before the men join in and decide there’s not enough Rushes, Regises or Dr. Phils.