“Dude, are you still working on that calendar?”

“Ugh-huh.”

“You need to take a break. A bunch of us are going out tonight. It’s ladies’ night at the Temple 16. All the corn wine you can drink, and the girls are going huipil-less.”

“Sweet! Who’s going?”

“Me, Kukulcan, Itzananohk’u and Xpiyacoc.”

“What about Kan-xib-yui?”

“Dude, didn’t you hear? He got sacrificed to the Sun God last week.”

“Awww, man. That’s rough.”

“So come on. Let’s go!”

“Nah. I really should finish this calendar.”

“Where’re you at?”

“Let’s see…I started it at August 11, 3114 B.C., and right now I’m up to December 21, 2012.”

“Holy Quetzalcoatl! When will you be done?”

“I don’t know. When I get tired, I guess.”

“So…aren’t you tired yet?”

“Actually, if I see another calendar I’ll start knocking down pyramids.”

“C’mon. Leave it. I got a pound of cacao and twelve seashells in my pocket.”

“That’s good, cause I got zero.”

“Zero? WTF’s that?”

“It’s nothin’, man.”

“Whatever you say. Let’s slash and burn!”

And with that, the mystery behind the ancient Mayan calendar is revealed.

Happy New Year…and many more to come!