“I can’t even get through this (noun)! This is (adverb) (adjective) bull(noun)! Who the (noun) decided to live in this (adjective) state?!” From a former English teacher’s perspective, I have to give him points for descriptive language. Maybe even some extra credit for spending five hours behind a snow blower.
I am overcome by inexplicable yearnings…consumed by an insatiable urge beyond all control…I will pay any price, travel any distance…I want it…I need it… MUST… HAVE… BREAD AND MILK!!!
Monday
Super balls bouncing in every corridor, as students broke into my box of bribery agents (i.e., motivational rewards).
Tuesday
Code Red emergency drill. Students are required to huddle silently in a corner away from windows; a fist fight ensues.
Wednesday
“Miss, are you twenty?”
“Jose, just for that, you don’t have to work for the rest of the year. I’m actually twice that amount.”
Jose (eyes bugged): “You twenty-five?!”
Thursday
Daynishia: “Miss, what’s your nationality?”
Me: “Well, I’m what you call a mutt, but I’m mostly Hungarian. So we’ll go with that.”
Daynishia: “Wait…you black?”
Me (confused): “No, Daynishia…I actually don’t even think people in Hungary know what a black person is.”
Daynishia: “So…you racist?”
Friday
Seven students storm out of the room when asked to sit in their newly assigned seats. After calling home, three of them don’t return my message, two no habla ingles, and two numbers are out of service.
It’s good to be home again.
Removing my married name from facebook makes me feel scandalous. It’s the same way I felt after I pried my wedding ring off my hourglass finger for the first time in ten years. Anyone up for getting crazy at P. Sam’s until 2:00? By crazy, I mean doubling up on the wings, of course. And by 2:00, I mean Saturday afternoon. Absolutely no hookups, unless the baby-sitter agrees to work overtime. Doug can be so uncool.