The mission: enter Walmart with a list of three items. An hour later, stand in the checkout line counting all the crap overflowing from your cart. You will feel every bit the miserable failure that you are. Now turn around in those Faded Glories, look straight ahead, march past those rollback savings, avoid eye contact with the greeter, bury your head under a flier and think about what you’ve done.

As I sit here typing this, I have egg yolk and banana crusting in my hair, along with egg whites and honey smeared across my face.  And that, girlfriends, is my secret to goopy hair and slimy skin!

All the way home, may your cars smell like a Diaper Genie baking in the hot August sun.

I just saw one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen rocking the stage…with a violin??

First Ian Anderson makes the flute cool, and now there’s David Garrett, whoever he may be.

My bet is the next heartthrob will come crashing into the music scene shredding the harpsichord.  Any other wagers?