“You wake up every morning in the greatest country in the world,” said Avni, war veteran and former special forces officer, now head of the construction crew. “Every day, you have the gift of freedom. Don’t ever forget it!”
Anyone ever had it rain in your kitchen? During Tuesday and Wednesday nights’ torrential downpours, I was setting the timer every ten minutes around the clock to empty twelve five-gallon buckets of water spread out across the floor. This will continue with every rainfall until the roof in our addition is complete by Tuesday. Until then, your most fervent, hyper, gyrating, super-spastic anti-rain dance is requested.
While tearing the insulation from the wall on the side of our house, the construction crew stumbled upon the following artifacts: a scattering of “Sorry” playing cards, a Black Label beer can, and a 1967 issue of Playboy Magazine. They just don’t make houses like they used to.
Today my mother came over and presented me with an entire new wardrobe. I thought I hit the jackpot, until it dawned on me that she was getting rid of her fat clothes.
When I aspired to be twice the woman my mother is, this is not what I had in mind.