Come November 1, unopened bags of Halloween candy have a way of taunting you until you open them.  For many days, a debate raged in my head.

Will you look at that?  An entire bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups, all going to waste.  Might as well open it.

They are my favorite…but no, I shouldn’t.

C’mon, go for it.  You just pulled through a week and half of hell.  You wore your underwear inside out, for God’s sake.  You deserve this.

True…but while we’re on the subject of my underwear, I’d rather they stay the same size till the end of the holidays.

Now, now.  One little peanut butter cup isn’t going to hurt you.

Don’t be so sure.  Knowing me, one will turn into two, and before you know it, I’m condemned to devour the entire 2 lb. 8.93-bag.  Better take it back to the store.  I think I might still have the receipt…

Put down that receipt, you uptight little priss!  For once, why don’t you try living a little? Do something spontaneous.  Live on the edge.  Splurge, before you end up a terminal old woman wallowing in her deathbed, with nothing but a collection of unburned decorative candles and a head full of unfulfilled dreams.  Live, woman, live, or prepare for a lifetime of regret!

NO!  STOP IT! I WON’T DO IT! I WON’T!

YOU WILL!

I WON’T!

YOU WILL!

And with that, I stuffed that bag of peanut butter cups away and out of my sight, on the top, dusty shelf of our pantry and slammed the door shut.

Victory!  I resisted.  I prevailed!

So proud was I of my impenetrable fortress of will power that I tore that bag open for a congratulatory peanut butter cup.

Twenty-four hours later, there is nothing left but a sugar high, an empty bag and 2 pounds, 8.93 ounces of shame.

After eleven straight days of no power, limited infrastructure and isolation from the world at large, I GOT THE POWER!

Here is what I learned.

#10:  Good news for the guys:  the new “7 inches” is actually 20.

#9:  It really is possible to point one finger at Scot Haney, shake your fist at the trees and extend a middle finger to CL&P all with the same hand.

#8:   Men returning home after 4 ½ hours with five gallons of gas will actually behave like cavemen returning from the hunt.

#7:  It is entirely possible to get off on the sound of a ringing telephone and beeping appliances.

#6:  If Ben Franklin and Thomas Edison were alive and living in Connecticut, they would get laid whenever and wherever they wanted.  Powdered wigs and all.

#5:  Fishing dirty clothes out of the laundry and wearing them inside out will make you feel like a movie star.

#4:  Once the generator is hooked up, you will become a spoiled, whining brat all over again.  Case in point:  “Why the hell isn’t the dishwasher hooked up to the generator?  Are you telling me I have to wash all these by hand?!”

#3:  You will find yourself arguing in circles with everyone taking up residence under your roof.

Doug (in response to #4):  “Just do it like they do in the Army.  You take out one plate, one bowl, one cup and one fork for yourself, and you wash them every time you use them.”

Me:  “Whether I wash the same damn dish 500 times or wash 500 different ones, how is that less work?”

Anna:  “Damn!  Damn!”

Eva:  “MAMA CAN I WATCH DORA?”

Me:  “Eva!  What have I been telling you all week?  The TV, phone and computer are broken!”

Eva:  “Oh.  But can I watch Dora?”

#2:  After a week and a half of social isolation, you will find yourself muttering to the gnats walking across your computer screen.

#1:  Driving through storm wreckage…more fun than Xbox 360!

Up next…the top 10 things I learned about children after 11 days of no power, TV, phone or Internet