Today I explained to the kids why they can’t have cookies before dinner with a half-eaten ice cream sandwich in my hand. Now that’s persuasive!
My Nonsensical Thought of the Day
The Gorist Mother Goose
Last night I cuddled up with the kids and a beloved collection of nursery rhymes in “The Glorious Mother Goose.” I found women chopping off mice tails, men holding their wives hostage in pumpkin shells, mothers in shoe houses starving and whipping their children, people storing their babies in trees and men in nightgowns peering at children through keyholes. And just in case that’s not disturbing enough for you…
“Goosey, goosey, gander, where shall I wander? / Up stairs, down stairs, and in my lady’s chamber / There I met an old man that would not say his prayers / I took him by the left leg, and threw him down the stairs.”
Sleep tight, kids!
“You know what I mean? You know what I’m sayin’?”
Stop it, people!! You don’t have to monitor my understanding after everything you say. Unless you’re Kingsley, the janitor at my school, who likes to talk politics in a thick Jamaican accent. I had no clue what he was saying. Know what I mean?
Every message my mother has left on my answering machine since 1992:
“Merri, are you there? … Merri Elizabeth? … Why aren’t you picking up? … Did you lose your phone again? … Merri? …”
Now, to invent a machine that will answer all her questions…