Last night Tyler refused to play Memory (aka, “matching cards”) with me for fear they would start on fire. Seems it’s fire safety week, and his teacher warned him not to play with matches. I was going to explain the difference, but it’s kind of nice having someone around here who’s more confused than I am.
In other news, I won’t be getting my ass whooped in Memory by a 3-year-old any time soon.
“America’s Funniest Home Videos” reveals the new wave in family entertainment is near-death experiences, or at the least, excruciating pain, caught on film. Case in point: an entire segment devoted to old people falling—downstairs, off bicycles, over street curbs. And at the Museum of Modern Art, a showcase of abstract expressionist paintings and the premiere of Jackass 3-D. Only in ancient Rome/ modern-day America!
The wildlife is playing Frogger as a squirrel and two chipmunks darted beneath the wheel of my minivan-turned-killing machine this month alone. Now that last week’s critter has finally blended in with the asphalt, I realize somewhere in the afterlife, I will have to do a lot of explaining to a fickle squirrel, two chipmunks, an unlucky possum, a dozen playful frogs and one very foolish bird.
Today some attorney even more intimidating than the guy in those Mark E. Salomone & Morelli commercials shook his fist at the TV camera and declared, “I sue distracted drivers!”
My first thought: finally, someone who will do what it takes to get these jackasses off the road!
My second thought: oh, crap.