After the teeth-gnashing ordeal of getting three kids ready, out the door and into the minivan, it often refuses to start. Recently I discovered this is an anti-theft device—if you try to start a Kia with one or more doors open, it thinks someone is trying to steal it, and it instantly deactivates.
Oh minivan, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble. But really, nobody wants you but me.
Driving along and lost as usual, I flicked on my turn signal, slowed down to 2 m.p.h., went straight instead, apologized out loud to the driver behind me and issued my classic “I’m sorry” wave.
“What happened?” Tyler asked nonchalantly from the backseat. “Did you just squish somebody?”
Just when it seems like the rest of the world has lost faith in us, we can always count on our kids for a vote of confidence.
Today Eva learned one of life’s harshest lessons: create a head-to-toe body cast with a box of Band-Aids, and soon enough, one by one, each Band-Aid is going to have to come off.
Doug has become a luthier of sorts. In the background are two Eddie Van Halen replicas he built and painted himself. When painting guitars, fishnet stockings are used to create a snakeskin effect.
Here is a scene a woman never predicts: her husband rifling through the women’s lingerie section at Walmart, grumbling, “Freakin’ fishnets are five bucks a pack!”