There is a war raging inside me: antibiotics vs. probiotics. In the meantime, I am in the hands of a medical team of three: the first, armed with a hammer, checks the reflexes in my head; the second searches for a heartbeat in my foot; and third shoves a thermometer in my mouth, yelling “Show me your tonsils!” I fight a good fight, just like a valiant fleet of bacteria standing in the face of penicillin. I am doomed.
My Nonsensical Thought of the Day
When did greasy ponytails stop being vogue?
You know you’re having a style emergency when you take your child for a trim and the hairdresser practically licks her chops, cracks her knuckles and bustles you to her chair. Tell me something…when will the ponytail ever make a comeback?
Just one request…
Newspapers, emails, subtitles to Japanese movies…so much to read, so little time. LADIES! Unless you’re carrying a message from the Emergency Broadcast System, kindly strike all text (i.e. “princess,” “baby,” “juicy” and “angel”) from the seat of your shorts and athletic apparel. Much appreciated.
Cadbury eggs and dirty diapers included.
After a lifetime of battling chocolate addiction, I have stumbled upon an instant cure. Simply chew on the chocolately remnants of your children’s Easter basket between diaper changes. Cravings will subside instantly. Treatment is available right from my home.