My Nonsensical Thought of the Day

Card me right now or I’ll have feds all over your ass.

by //
Today I presented a cashier with a case of beer and my license on top.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“It’s my license,” I said.
She stared at it, confused. “Are you writing out a check?”
“No, it’s for the beer.”
She squinted at me and smiled. “Oh! You won’t be needing this.”  I’m pretty sure I saw everyone in line elbowing each other.
I’m thinking sensitivity training for cashiers is in order.

I was told there’d be no math on this exam…

by //

Doug tried his hand at grocery shopping this week and came home with so many Knorr rice boxes we’ll have to build another addition just to store them.

“Why so many?” I asked.

“They were 10 for $10.”

“So? You don’t have to buy all ten to get the sale price.”

He shrugged. “I suck at math. What do you want from me?”

It gets worse, although I didn’t have the heart to tell him. There were twelve.