In the seconds after I saw this, I thought the meme creator (along with my friend Mary Ellen, who posted it) needed a math tutor. But it’s true…and the next time the ‘80s has a milestone birthday, it will mark a half century.
To put this in perspective, in 1980, forty-year-old music sounded like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vOUYry_5Nw
Suddenly, I feel as though we’re livin’ on a prayer, a tube of Bengay, a pocketful of Werther’s Originals, and a comfy pair of Dr. Scholl’s.
Back in 1983, when teachers were trusted to do so, Mr. Thomas Hebert took me on my very own private field trip to a bee farm. With thick swarms buzzing about, I forged ahead, peeking in hives and examining bee behavior. In the end, my research and contributions on bee science produced a TAG project worthy of the Nobel prize.
Each year after that, I knew if I held onto my souvenir beekeeper suit for just a little bit longer, it would come in handy.
All this time, and I’ve just been calling him Ned.
It makes me feel safer knowing clothing stores have closed down their dressing rooms. It’s well known that viruses tend to contain themselves in dressing areas rather than spreading throughout the store. It seems logical to board up the dressing rooms and allow customers to try the clothing on at home instead, especially since they’re given a mere 36 hours to marinate the merchandise in their coronas before bringing it back. Not to mention, I enjoy the challenge of guesstimating how an outfit will fit based on the way it appears on a hanger. When in doubt, spandex and lycra with a dash of corona are always safe choices.
Suddenly, “shop till you drop” takes on a whole new meaning.
